“If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry as they see me smile” – Kurt Cobain
“The teacher sought that meaning in pleasures, education, good works and all kinds of wealth, to finally reach the conclusion that all is meaningless ” (Ecclesiastes 1:2)
Kurt Cobain & his worldly fame
Kurt Cobain’s life begins as a troubled boy with a troubled home. Given the circumstances of deep wounds he lashes out, by doing graffitti, writting depressing songs such as ” I want to die”, & getting addicted to drugs. Such is the lifestyle of a rock star.
I remember I got into Nirvana’s music (remember “smells like teen spirit”?) & I was so interested that I read Cobain’s story & his suicide note. I sorta cried because I can understand the sentiment of feeling lonely, being an outcast, & never being satisfied with anything in life. I believe we all can.
” I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things… I don’t have the passion anymore..” (Kurt Cobain’s suicide note). In Cobain I see a lot of what exists in my generation, including myself. We’re a generation raised in a broken home… broken hearts… broken experiences. Because of this we allow ourselves to be taught by the media & other blind people that true satisfaction, deep soul peace satisfaction, comes from lots of sex, partying, being famous & rich. As a result, we all lust after all the above mentioned without questioning it. We park our brains & jump into it, like a pool full of chocolate pudding.
What does GOD say about all this?
In all HIS shrouded & infintely complex GOD ways, HE plainly states ” Don’t do it…”…. ” Aggghhhh!! how frustrating!! why not GOD? Do YOU not enjoy seeing me happy? Are you jealous that everyone will think that I am as great as I think I am? YOU know what, I don’t care what you say, I’m going to do it anyway just cause you said I shouldn’t! ”
Yet little do we know, that GOD designed us to need a close heart bond with HIM, & designed us to not handle fame & fortune too well. The best comparison is filling a little toyota car engine with jet fuel. once you start up the engine, the fuel will heat up at such high temperatures that it melts away the motor like cotton candy disintegrates when you put it in your mouth.
Kurt, as well as many other rock stars (movie stars, celebrities, athletes… the list goes on & on) have learned the hard way that the pursuit of fame, fortune, & pleasure will suck all of the joy right out of you. We humans have always had a habit of rebelling for rebellion’s sake. When our parents tell us not to do something there are many reasons why they do so. But when GOD tells us not to do something, trust that it is in your best benefit to do so. When I think about Kurt’s death I can’t help but wonder what happened right before he pulled the trigger? Did he try to give GOD the middle finger right before being sent before HIS glorious presence? Did the pain that suffocated his very existence get lifted as he accepted a possible final invitation from GOD?
Alas, we will never know, not even if Kurt were alive to tell us himself, because the inner connection between a man’s soul & GOD is something that only that person & GOD alone can see. We don’t even know if he even got a final invite.
What we do know is that the only thing that matters is the here and now. This present moment is who you are. Forget fancy prayers, church, or anything else. HE wants sincerity from us. Something that might help is being honest & open with GOD in where you’re at. something along the lines of ” Hey there… so I know we haven’t talked & I don’t know where to start, but can you please show me? “… Now this is a real prayer.
Why wait? when HE has always been so willing & eager to talk to you. It’ll be the best decision you ever made.