Something interesting to observe is how people relate to each other, make friends, & pick dating partners…
Although there are many advancements in technology (which affects how we communicate, date, & make friends) , the general way people relate to each other remains the same.
Accountability And Familiarity
Back in high school & middle school it was easy to make friends because we all had some form of accountability to each other. We all attended the same school & knew someone who could help us find in which class someone was in or how to find them.
Remember the group of “Popular kids” that only hung out with their own group & didn’t mix much outside of their social groups. One of the ways people make friends is spending lots of time with each other, majority of the kids in these groups grew up with each other & no doubt were neighbors or affiliated in the same church group.
How does this basic function affect the adult dating world? Many relationships when we get out of college are based around our old school friends, work, interest groups, & affiliations. If you ever observe the way most normal people pick dating partners & friendships, it is based on one of the above but also some effort from either person to spend time with the other. We all have that 1 friend from school who we were super cool with but never hung out with outside of school. There has to be some kind of commitment from both parties for a real friendship to form.
People who move around a lot in their lives understand how difficult it is to make real friends. From personal experience & asking others, it seems that although humans develop new technologies and advancements, we still take a long time to develop trust in one another and create bonds. Some, like I used to, look at this and think it is a bad thing, but this is actually a very good thing. With so many bad people & crazy things going on in the world, we humans need to be extremely selective of who we associate ourselves with & relate to. What is the best way to weed out crazy & low quality people? Time, lots of time.
I’ve had the pleasure of picking the brains of one of my uncles who has had many successful relationships with not only quality women, but friendships as well. what was his advice? Be people’s friend first.
So what is the best advice for those looking to make quality friendships & dating relationships?
Take a look at your interests & beliefs (if you have any). Then look for groups of people who practice it. For example: You’re new to the area of Austin, Texas. Don’t know anyone, but you are a devote christian, young adult, & practice soccer. Search for young adult bible groups in the area, or soccer groups that you can join. When there, make conversation with people but don’t be so quick to ask them to hang out because people can sense desperation. Give it time, and soon if you truly are a worthwhile person, people will be asking for your phone number & inviting you out to hang with them.