There’s a lot of bad advice out there from love doctors & gurus. Luckily this post is a no B.S. approach to romance & dating.
There was some great advice that I got when I had no clue about dating which was “Be friends first”. Why? because you get a chance to gauge a person as they really are.
*Unless you’re looking for just a one night stand or hormonal highs, it is difficult to be genuinely interested in someone if you don’t know who they are, what their interests are, or where their heart is.
So how do you tell if someone’s interested or not?
- First, you need to spend time around this person. This helps with 2 things, 1 getting to know them & 2 letting them get to know you.
- Second, you need to talk to this person. Forget talking about the weather or upcoming events. ask them about their interests, their family, where they’re planning on going & how. Also, do they open up their hearts to you & tell you about themselves or do they just respond with short answers?
- Third, let this person talk to you. do they ask questions about you? Do they ask to know more about you & your interests? Do they care about your feelings?
- Fourth, when you have their number. Do they make an effort to spend time with you or are they receptive to making plans with you. If a person is genuinely interested in you they will make time to be with you & talk to you. There is no such thing as being too busy.
Things to keep in mind
The reason I stated the advice of being friends first is because someone won’t show genuine interest in you overnight. These things take time so it is important that you make an effort to be involved in social or interest groups. There are a lot of people who have been hurt or have issues, so you have to be ready to spend time building up that trust for them to actually get to know you.
Things you should ignore
There are many reasons why people flirt. Bad break ups, lack of self-confidence therefore needing you to show interest to make them feel better about themselves. My mom in her wisdom always gave me this key piece of advice: “Talk is cheap”. If a person is calling you cute or sexy & doesn’t even know you, don’t you think that they say that to just about anyone & everyone?
Asking for you number too quick
Unless you two won’t see each other again, why is there a need to ask for your number? to be friends? both you & this person have plenty of friends, why do you need another? You have no idea who this person is, if they’re part of a social group that you both attend regularly then you both can see each other there.
Playing hard to get
If you’re trying to talk to someone & they are unresponsive, even if they are “interested” in you, move on. You’re better off talking to people who are secure enough with themselves to be real & honest with you.